Dear Sidney Parker

Dear Sidney Parker,

First of all, I miss you... 

Second of all, I kind of hate the world right now as I'm writing these lines. I can't believe this is happening. For over a year, I hoped that you would come back to me some day. I fought for a long time and then I stopped. I hope you're not too mad about it. I just couldn't do it anymore. But, a lot of amazing people kept on fighting and eventually, we won. 

Last year, for a day, I thought that you were coming back to me and I was so happy! God, I really believed it. I even cried. But for some stupid reasons, someone decided otherwise... and I cried. Again. 

This time, you wouldn't come back to me. I know it's not your fault and I know it's not your choice either. But you and I are Twin Flames, so you must know that our dear friend, the fear of abandonment, showed up and made me move on quickly after this news. You wouldn't come back to me but at least, maybe, you would heal and find happiness in your life. I truly found some comfort in that. But tonight something else happened...

I learned that you might be dead and suddenly my heart broke and tears came down my face. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to you, to me, to us. If your death is real, I don't know how I will come to terms with it. And do I even wanna keep watching the show after that? I honestly don't know. Watching the show without you because you live somewhere else with your family would have hurt a little but I was ready to do it. But watching the show without you because you're no longer alive?!? I- I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I wanna do it... It's simply not fair.

Oh, my dear man, you deserved so much better than all of this and I'm truly sorry.

I don't want to say goodbye to you, not yet anyway. So for now, I just wanna say thank you. For the first time, I saw myself in a fictional character and I will forever feel this deep connection with you. It was scary at first but you helped me to understand myself better and you helped me to grow. 

And that's why I will carry you with me. Forever.

See you later, Sidney...

With love,

Fabiola.